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by Deborah Tannen

ISBN: 0743504798
Author: Deborah Tannen
Language: English
Publisher: Simon & Schuster Audio; Abridged edition (May 1, 2001)
Category: Relationships
Subcategory: Self-Help
Rating: 4.6
Votes: 947
Size Fb2: 1710 kb
Size ePub: 1840 kb
Size Djvu: 1858 kb
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Deborah Tannen Relationships English

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You Jus Don't UNDERSTAND By: Deborah Tannen, P.

You Jus Don't UNDERSTAND By: Deborah Tannen, P. Synopsis: Deborah Tannen uses telling examples to stunningly demonstrate how even in the closest of relationships women and men live in different worlds made of different words. You Jus Don't UNDERSTAND Women and Men in Conversation Deborah Tannen,. Ballantine Books New York Sale of this book without a front cover may be unauthorized. if this book is coverless, it may have been reported to the publisher as "unsold or destroyed" and neither the author nor the publisher may have received payment for it.

It was written for a popular audience, and uses anecdotes from literature and the lives of Tannen and her family, students and friends.

You Just Don't Understand" is a very readable book with plenty of examples and data to back it up. I found it to be. .Note that this was the first of Tannen's books on the subject, but at lest of the first several, in my opinion, "You Just Don't Understand" remains the best.

Note that this was the first of Tannen's books on the subject, but at lest of the first several, in my opinion, "You Just Don't Understand" remains the best.

You Just Don't Understand. With a rare combination of scientific insight and delightful, humorous writing, Tannen shows why women and men can walk away from the same conversation with completely different impressions of what was said. Women and men live in different world. ade of different words.

Deborah Tannen’s most popular book is You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation. That's Not What I Meant! by. Deborah Tannen. You're Wearing That?: Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation by.

Deborah Tannen, You Just Don’t Understand People have different conversational styles. So when people from different parts of the country, or different ethnic or class backgrounds, talk to each other, it is likely that their words will not be understood exactly as they were meant. The desire to affirm that women are equal has made some scholars reluctant to show that they are different. There are gender differences in ways of speaking, and we need to identify and understand them.

Deborah Tannen's groundbreaking book You Just Don't Understand improved male-female relationships about, oh.Deborah Tannen combines a novelist's ear for the way people speak with a rare power of original analysis.

Deborah Tannen's groundbreaking book You Just Don't Understand improved male-female relationships about, oh, 100 percent. It is this that makes her an extraordinary sociolinguist, and her book such a fascinating look at that crucial social cement, conversation.

Includes bibliographical references (p. -319) and index. A chatty, earnest and endearing book that promises here-and-now rewards for taking the trouble to listen more carefully to what others are saying-and to be more sensitive to what others are hearing. LOS ANGELES TIMES Discover how men and women can interpret the same conversation differently, even when there is no apparent misunderstanding. Discover why sinscere attempts to communicate are so often confounded, and how we can prevent or relieve some of the frustration.

Deborah Tannen's #1 bestseller revolutionized the way men and women talk -- and listen -- to each other -- at home, at work, and wherever the communication gap between the sexes can lead to troublesome misunderstandings. The problem dates back to childhood, when boys and girls learn to use language in distinctly different ways; years later, their adult efforts to talk often place them at cross purposes -- even when both are sincerely trying to communicate.

Dr. Tannen illustrates how the best intentions can go painfully awry between spouses, family members, co-workers and friends, With You Just Don't Understand, you'll recognize yourself and your own efforts to be understood -- and gain valuable insight to help you communicate better than ever before.

Comments:

Brazil

Since I received this book as a gift from an older coworker years ago, I've read this book a couple times and given it as a gift two other times. Spouse also loves it. Even though we each do not match up on all the points, it's been an excellent guide to better understanding and communicating for both of us. It was good when we were starting out in our relationship, and good for us now after more than a decade. Highly recommend.

Modimeena

Reminds me a lot of "Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus" but with a focus on the workplace. As a women in a male dominated workforce (US military), I found myself shaking my head and saying, wow, how many times has that happened and yes, I can relate to that. But even more so, I found myself laughing out loud! Great read!

Cha

Great read. Deborah Tannen is a great author for those who have a casual interest in linguistics, but aren't linguists themselves. Anyone working in the field would find it over-simplified and too reliant on anecdotal evidence, but for the casual reader with an interest in the wonders of how language shapes our world, it's a very enlightening read.

Xirmiu

I love this book. I bought it years ago and loaned it to someone and couldn't remember who, and of course, they never returned it. I think it speaks volumes about this book that I felt compelled to buy it again. Women! Have you ever wondered why men will never stop to ask for directions, even if you're hopelessly lost? Do you wonder why, when you come home at the end of the day saying, "I can't believe what this person did to me today," only to be met with, "Well, what did YOU do?"
If so, please buy this book. You will understand why men are how they are (and it's not male-bashing, it's just scientific observations), and maybe you will be able to help your man understand you better and you will understand your man better. I highly recommend it, although I had a few issues with some of the statistics in some of the studies, but overall, it seems to be pretty sound science (as much as the Social Sciences can be).

Adoranin

One has to have an open-mind to be truly engaged in this book. There are differences in the way male and female communicate how we understand the same situation we encounter. This book is also thought-provoking in bringing to light, examples and scenarios that reveal a clearer picture if you were to step out of your body to watch and learn the outcome of the differences of the two species. What is also exciting to note is that male and female differences make living in this world a rather interesting one.

LeXXXuS

"You Just Don't Understand" is a very readable book with plenty of examples and data to back it up. I found it to be amazingly accurate and it really has helped me communicate better with men. I know that sounds so weird, but there really are differences in how many men and women use language. For example, most men use language to convey information and to create a pecking order. Most women use language to create bonding and to create an even playing field without a pecking order. In understanding those differences and more, I am now better able to understand why a man may say certain things and hence better able to take it as it in the spirit it was given, rather than feeling hurt. It also has helped me speak to men in a way that they will understand and will not see as demeaning myself in the pecking order.
Over all I found this book an entertaining read and very practical. If you have ever been frustrated in a conversation with the opposite gender, this book may shed some light.

BlessСhild

As a geezer who has spent his life studying "women talk" and proud of my insight---this book knocked me on my butt---and taught me how colossally ignorant I was on the subject.

In short, Tanneh demonstrates that men and women essentially speak two different languages, and each poorly understands the other's language, resulting in frequent and inevitable misunderstandings. Almost every paragraph you find yourself (at least figuratively) smacking yourself on the forehead and saying, "Damn, that's true. I never realized that before."

I've read the book a half-dozen times and insisted that my wife read it (about 20 years ago). According to my wife (a VP of a Fortune-500 company) the things she has learned from the book help her to cope with her male colleagues. My wife and I have even developed private phrases to avoid many of the common male/female linguistic misunderstandings. I believe that our very good married life has substantially improved as a result of reading this book.

Even so, even understanding "women-speak", I still find it largely illogical---which only reinforces Tannen's thesis that men's and women's are simply wired differently---most easily observed in differences in the use of the allegedly common language.

I consider this to be among the top three books which "altered my life for the better". This is a book to buy in hardcover, and re-read frequently. It is impossible to absorb everything in a single reading---or even three readings. I give a copy to each of my nieces when they reach roughly 17. My nephews need the information more, but unfortunately, guys are less likely to read such a book.

Note that this was the first of Tannen's books on the subject, but at lest of the first several, in my opinion, "You Just Don't Understand" remains the best.

> Click on “Stoney” just below the product title to see my other reviews, or leave a comment to ask a question.

When I've had my high school students read this book they often exclaimed, " I wish I'd read this last year! I could have save my relationship with my boyfriend/girlfriend!" It's very insightful commentary on the differences between how men and women talk. We can use the same word to mean completely different things. Very life changing information.